I must admit to no small degree of confusion. I finally got my scale unpacked last night, so I decided to weigh myself. The scale measured me at 225, a loss of -5 pounds from my starting weight. Yes, I gained five pounds somehow. As if to place an exclamation point on it, my normally somewhat snug pants are strangling my genitals this morning. (On the plus side, my junk appears enormous. Eat it up, ladies of *the nameless company I work for that trolls the internets looking for people talking about them*!)
Normally, I would give up at this point and consign myself to my fate as a fat guy. I have, however, decided that this is not even close to over. I am redoubling my efforts. Instead of a moderate workout in the morning, I’m hitting it hard. My sodapop mix is going from 50%-50% regular-diet to 25%-75%. I’m having egg substitute and turkey sausage with my breakfast in place of their more fattening counterparts. Let’s see what you think of that, gut!
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